I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
