do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
