why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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