So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she peed on how many people?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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