are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
