Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Damn victory sex feels great
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
