pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
