he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
