So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
