Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
