Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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