You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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