eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
