last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
