dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
