And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
