I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
