After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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