all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
