only if we run a train.
done.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
