honey bunches of taint.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
