You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
either way he was missing a nipple.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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