I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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