Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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