ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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