she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
