That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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