I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
