I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
