At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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