so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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