Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
