forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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