She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize