Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize