How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
