Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
