Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
