just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
