A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
