Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
