You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
