He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
