Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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