I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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