Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just pee around me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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