oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
