Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
