reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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