its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Gay?
German.
Pity.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
