the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
