that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
