I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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