They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
