You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
