Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
