At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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