hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
