Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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