Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
