READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
