just tell him i said nine months
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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