I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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