The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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