The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Don't make out with my wife yet
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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