On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
